So, I decided that every year when I would go off to Christian summer camp I would ask my questions. Year after year I asked not only my counselors, but also the directors of the camps and the evangelists, but there wasn't a single person that could give me a rational answer. Most would say "that is the way God works" or "God did it that is all you need to know". I hated those answers, but I feared if I wasn't a Christian no one would like me. So, I decided that I would just sweep all these doubt under the rug and continue on.
That worked pretty well until about two years ago when I met the man who is now my husband. When we met he told me that he wasn't sure that there was even a God, as soon as he said that all of my doubts and fears came out from under the rug. I was really scared at first, but then we both started talking about our doubts and we read books on both sides of the fence and over the course of several month we realized together that there was no rational proof for the existence of a god.
Over the last year we have read many books that support our position as well as many blogs. So, even though I have only held this position for about a year I am very strong in my outlook on life and have no desire to ever go back to the bonds of religion.